Before I became a lawyer, I worked as a social worker in a drug treatment community. I know — sounds like fun, Len! It was. But law school sounded like real fun, too. The only missing ingredient was talking about feelings. That is what we did in social work — we talked about feelings. Unfortunately, the salary for feelings was less than the salary for trusts and taxes.

I suppose it was a time of passage for me. A popular book from that era was simply called "Passages." It laid out what people in their twenties, thirties, and forties should be feeling and doing. The author called thirty the "big Three-O." What I would do to be back at the big Three-O! Now, thirty years past it, I see passages differently — from the perspective of an elder law attorney. The Big Three-O is now the Big Six-O, and we counsel people in their 60s, 70s, 80s, and even 90s on the legal challenges and passages they face.

"The goal is not to preserve an inheritance for the kids — it's to make sure you have choices, control, and the right people in place when the time comes."

60s
The Sixties
Build your foundation — before a crisis forces your hand
Get solid Powers of Attorney — for health care and for assets. A Power of Attorney is the most valuable document you can have. All Powers of Attorney are not equal. Do not trust a software program or a store-bought document. This is a dangerous mistake. Make sure you understand how they work and what powers you are granting. Develop a relationship with an advisor now so you don't have to choose one in a time of crisis.
Consider long-term care insurance. This provides flexibility for the care you'll receive if you get sick. It may make the difference between staying at home and going into a facility. Policies are far more affordable when purchased at this age.
Begin thinking about asset management as a couple. Communicate with your spouse. Don't let one spouse handle everything. Have a Letter of Instruction — it is more important than a Will in many cases. Start planning for Medicare and Social Security now, not at retirement age.
Do NOT throw away old bank statements or check copies. Save at least five years' worth. Document any gifts you make. This paper trail will matter enormously if long-term care planning ever becomes necessary.
70s
The Seventies
Plan seriously for long-term care — while you still have options
This is the time to really think about long-term care planning. One out of two people spend time in a nursing home before they die. At this age, do not make investments that tie up your money.
Do NOT purchase annuities without thoroughly understanding their limitations. Pare down your life insurance. Look at pre-need funeral arrangements instead.
If you want to make gifts, do it now. Gifting carries penalties in terms of long-term care planning. In your early seventies you can still expect several years of good health — now is the time to think about a gift program.
Long-term care insurance is still a viable option in your early seventies. Consolidate your assets. Understand your health insurance — and don't buy on price alone.
Make sure your advisors can be relied on in a crisis. If you have a disabled child, now is the time to think about funding a Special Needs Trust.
Save everything and keep it organized. Use folders, not envelopes. Save all transaction records from accounts you close. Do NOT throw away bank statements. Save at least five years' worth and document every gift you make.
80s
The Eighties
Simplify everything — and be fast on your feet
No gifts over $500 without understanding the impact. Every gift at this stage could affect your long-term care planning in ways that are difficult to undo.
Make sure your health insurance covers nursing home rehab. Cash out your life insurance. Use pre-need funeral arrangements instead.
No annuities under any circumstances. No savings bonds either. These assets are too cumbersome and slow you down. Reduce retirement accounts in a systematic way. The goal at this age is to be fast on your feet.
If you are married, understand what happens if one of you enters a nursing home. Find out where you stand and don't stay up at night worrying about it. If your spouse is reluctant to address this, bring them along anyway. It will be your responsibility to manage the situation if they don't.
Do NOT throw bank statements or check copies away. Save five years' worth. Document any gifts over $500. Do not take large cash withdrawals. Save transaction records from closed accounts. Cash gifts are not safe.
90s
The Nineties
Relax — you've earned it
Relax and enjoy the contentment that comes from having followed the advice above. One bank account, in joint names with a trusted child. Direct deposits are fine. IRAs should be drawn down and insurance cashed out. Powers of Attorney are current.
Arrange your assets so your estate doesn't have to go through probate. Make sure your home can pass to your heirs without legal intervention.
Get comfortable shoes and a warm blanket. Watch the Phillies and the Eagles. Eat a hot dog if you want. Visit your lawyer and make sure he has followed his own advice.

The passages of aging are inevitable — but how well-prepared you are for each one is entirely within your control. The families who come through these transitions most smoothly are the ones who planned ahead, kept good records, and built relationships with advisors before a crisis forced their hand.

LS
Leonard L. Shober, J.D., LL.M.
Founding Attorney · Shober & Rock, P.C.

Len graduated with honors from Temple University School of Law and holds an LL.M. in Taxation. Before law school, he worked as a social worker and family counselor — a background that shapes his deeply human approach to elder law. He has served Bucks County families for over 40 years.